Pros & Cons of being a Stay-at-Home Mom

Being a stay-at-home mom isn't as bad as some people make it out to be but I will say it is a lot more work than most people think it is.

Some days it is very rewarding and other days it just plain out sucks. 

By being a stay-at-home mom, you take on several different roles. Not only are you mom but you are a cook, barber, nurse, housekeeper, professional maid, toy negotiator, entertainer, and my favorite, chaos coordinator.

Your day is spent taking care of the kids from the moment they wake up to whenever your husband decides to walk through the door and then you can hopefully get a mini break. Go to bed or stay awake thinking of tomorrow's to-do list, wake up and do it all over again.

I'm sure if you are a stay-at-home mom like me you have been told at some point in time how lucky you are to be a stay-at-home mom or my favorite, "It must be nice to sit on your butt all day and do nothing..." umm obviously they have never been a stay-at-home mom.

Deep down I think they are secretly jealous because why else would you say that to a stay-at-home mom???

And I don't know if luck has anything to do with staying at home and taking care of my children. My husband works and I stay at home because daycare for three little ones is crazy expensive and I would basically be putting all my income to daycare which seems like a waste of money and time so I stay at home and watch my kids. Not lucky, just smart thinking.

Lucky would mean I won the lottery and could stay home with my kids, hire a nanny and not have to worry about money but in order for that to happen I would actually have to play the lottery and win. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to win the lottery but money doesn't solve everything and it can't buy love. 

Yes, there are several benefits to being a stay-at-home mom and I can see why someone may say you are lucky to stay at home all day but by no means is it easy. It isn't all fun and games. It is hard work. It is very stressful and sometimes very lonely.

I don't know about you but my sole communication is with my toddlers. My vocabulary basically consists of the phrases:

"No"
"Don't do that"
"Clean up"
"Eat your food"
"Because I said so"
"Take your nap"
"I love you"
"Good Job!"
"So Pretty"
"Night Night"

Which means mommy doesn't get a lot of human interaction and when I get the chance to talk to an actual adult I sometimes feel like an idiot because I have been at home with my kids for so long and forgot how to communicate so I just ramble on and talk their ears off or say a few words with my b**ch face on so they think I hate them when in all reality I am just sleep deprived and probably need a break.

When I actually do get a night away from my kids, I almost always get asked "Do you miss them?". I politely smile and say "I hope they are okay but mommy needs a break." Not the answer anyone was thinking they'd hear but hey, it's the truth.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids but I am around my kids all day every day so when I get the chance to go out kid free, I'm not going to sit there sobbing over being away from my kids, I'm going to have fun and enjoy myself because it may be months before I get the chance to get away again.

This does not make me a bad mom, it makes me human and it's okay to admit that you need a break from your children, trust me, staying cooped up in a house with a bunch of kids can drive anyone crazy, good thing I love my kids!

I will admit that I never dreamed I would be a stay-at-home mom. Growing up I always wanted kids but to be honest I didn't know how much work actually went into having and raising kids. I always thought I would get married, get a job, have a kid and go back to work but God had a different plan than I did.

So here I am, a stay-at-home mom nearing my thirties with four kids, no paying job in over six years and although I don't know what that plan is I am on the path to finding out.

I will say that I sometimes take for granted being a stay-at-home mom as I'm sure almost all stay-at-home moms do. I will complain about lack of adult interaction and not being able to get a break but deep down I know I am blessed because being a stay-at-home mom has allowed me to spend time with my children as several parents aren't able to do and wish they could.

Being a stay-at-home mom has also allowed for me to be creative around the house creating home decor, toys, costumes, crafts with my children or even helping my husband out with his classroom decor.

I lean more toward the pessimistic/realist side of life. Because I never dreamed I would be a stay-at-home mom, or at least not for this long, I sometimes have trouble seeing the positives to it. Plus society has a way of pointing out all the negatives. No matter where you go, someone always has something to say, especially when it comes to parenting.

I decided to create a list of the positives and negatives, double the positives, of being a stay-at-home mom in hopes of helping other moms know they are not alone in their journey and that there are more positives to being a stay-at-home mom than they think.

Pros & Cons of being a Stay-at-Home Mom

Pros:

1. You save $$$ because daycare is expensive.
2. You never miss a milestone!
3. You get to raising and teach your kids instead of a daycare worker, babysitter or nanny raising them.
4. You know your kids are safe - what they are eating, watching, nap time.
5. If your kid gets hurt, you are there to kiss their boo-boos and make it all better.
6. More time to do everyday life tasks - cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, errands.
7. You don't have to get dressed or do your hair and makeup everyday.
8. You get to spend more quality time with your kids making memories!
9. You get the opportunity to learn new hobbies - a hobby helps you not to loose yourself.
10. Places are less crowded during the weekdays if you choose to go out.
11. Baby Nap Time = Mommy Time - find a hobby, binge watch something, do a chore, take a shower, take a nap, eat something
12. Everyday can take a different turn just because you aren't tied down to anything but raising your little one. Wake up and go to the park or stay in your pajamas all day just because you can.
13. Enjoyment - you learn to enjoy the little things you often missed before from scribble art to your little one's smile to baby cuddles to messy decorated Christmas cookies.
14. You have more respect for other stay-at-home moms.

Cons:

1. Lack of adult conversation.
2. You can never quit your job, not to say you'd want to!
3. The kids will follow you everywhere you go and I mean everywhere.
4. Your stress level increases because the kids are less likely to listen if you are around them 24-7.
5. You can loose yourself - no you time, feel like you wasted your degree, feel like you aren't helping out because don't have an income, tired all the time.
6. One Income = Tighter Budget
7. You will have a gap on your resume - some spruced up wording such as "I was a caretaker, nurse, barber, chef, and chaos coordinator to a mini version of myself" could spruce it up though!

Both: 

1. You learn to budget - you learn to shop less, shop sales, and buy off brand to save $$$. 
2. Easier to schedule doctor and dentist appointments for your kids because you don't have to take off work. Harder to schedule appointments for you unless you want your kids to be in the room.
3. You fall into an everyday routine. Routines help make life less stressful but can also lead to feeling like you are stuck doing the same thing all day everyday.
4. You get to stay at home!

Whether you choose to be a stay-at-home mom or choose to be a working mom, as long as you are there for your children and love them, that's all that matters.

Time flies by, especially when you start having kids. I know sometimes I take being a stay-at-home mom for granted which is part of why I wanted to write this post and make a list to remind me of the positives of being a stay-at-home mom.

I know this wasn't my ideal life plan, but I can honestly say I am not disappointed and wouldn't trade these days of watching my kids grow up and experiencing life because one day down the road when I do have a paying job, I picture myself wanting to go back to being a stay-at-home mom because I'm sure I'll miss it. Only time will tell.

Hopefully this post opened your eyes to some positives and negatives of being a stay-at-home mom and that it's not all sitting on the couch eating cookies and watching tv all day. Yes it has it's moments but it also has it's downfalls.

To all the moms out there, you are not alone. There are other stay-at-home moms going through and feeling exactly what you are. Keep pushing momma. Keep raising your mini me. Keep being strong. Keep being the best mom you can be. Keep being you.

If you need more support, try finding a mommy group. The park and library are great places to start!


I'd love to hear more positives of being a stay-at-home mom or what keeps you going. Comment below!!!!

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