Being Mommy - the non luxuries of a stay-at-home parent

The non luxuries of a stay-at-home parent. I chose parent because now-a-days both mothers and fathers stay at home to take care of their children. I am a stay-at-home mom to three little ones currently ages one to three (almost four). I'm sure if you are a stay-at-home parent like me you have been told at some point in time how lucky you are to be a stay-at-home parent or my favorite, it must be nice to sit on your booty all day and do nothing... umm obviously they have never been a stay-at-home parent.

I always thought I would have a paying job by now so I have decided that once my children are in school and I attempt to find a paying job that I'm going to add chaos coordinator to my resume along with nurse, cook, professional maid, hair dresser and personal stylist because that's what us stay-at-home parents do just in fancy terminology.

Yes, there are several benefits to being a stay-at-home parent but by no means is it easy. It isn't all fun and games. It is hard work. It is very stressful and sometimes lonely. Some may say being a stay-at-home parent is a luxury because you get to be with your kids and you don't have to work but being a stay-at-home parent is definitely not luxurious. To be honest there is nothing luxurious about being a stay-at-home parent or at least not a stay-at-home parent to non school aged children. 

Yes you get to be with your kids but you get to be with your kid's 24-7 with little to no breaks.

Yes you don't have to go to work everyday but you work everyday taking care of your kids, your house, running errands, paying bills, laundry, doctors appointments, etc... without getting paid. 

Being a stay-at-home parent has become some kind of stereo type and everyone seems to have the wrong image unless they have actually been a stay-at-home parent. I know I did before I became one.

Most stay-at-home parents stay home because they can't afford to send their children to daycare and then there are the ones who can afford to hire a nanny and house keeper to help out around the house and stay home just because. I am not here to judge or start the battle of the stay-at-home parents vs. the working parents but I am going to talk about some of the non luxuries of a stay-at-home parent.

From the moment I conceived, although I did not know it, my life had changed. I had become a mother and I had this tiny alien looking baby growing inside of me. From the moment I gave birth I became a parent. I was now responsible for someone other than myself. I have been a stay-at-home parent ever since I had my daughter. I never planned on being a stay-at-home parent this long but God had other plans, plus it made sense. No we are not rich and can't afford for me to be a stay-at-home parent forever, my husband is a teacher and we all know how much teachers make, but why should I work my booty off just to pay someone else everything I make to play with my children?

Every time I started looking for a job I ended up pregnant and I don't know about you but the cost to send three kids that were three and under to day care was ridiculous. I would need to be making a teacher's salary if not more to have anything left over and anybody who says being a stay-at-home parent is not a job has never been a stay-at-home parent. If you are going to pay someone else to do it then it is a job and a hard one at that. Yes I know your children are your responsibility they shouldn't be considered work but anybody who has had a child and cared for a child 24-7 knows that they are work but that is besides the point.

Being a stay-at-home parent can be nice because you get to witness all your child's first milestones and you get to spend time with your children making memories but like I said before, it is hard work, very stressful and sometimes lonely. From midnight breast/bottle feedings to being covered in puke to explosive diapers and snot covered sleeves it is not very luxurious. What are some of the non luxuries of a stay-at-home parent you may ask?

Your living room will become a land mine of toys. Toys everywhere and you don't want to know what happens if you step on one. I don't know what hurts more the legos or the toy cars. Clean up and they do it again. It would be different if my children actually played with the toys but nope, it's only fun to dump everything out.

Markers and Sharpies become your worst enemy. Lets add paint, chalk, glue, crayons and anything else that writes or is sticky because it will end up everywhere - clothes, walls, tables, chairs, the couch, all over your kids face.

Speaking of the bathroom, it never fails. You go to the park, "I need to go potty". You go to the store, "I need to go potty". The food is served at a restaurant, "I need to go potty". My husband and I have come to the conclusion that our children love the idea of exploring public bathrooms.

You have to go to the bathroom? Great your kids have front row seats to the show. Here's to never peeing alone again!

Kids are blunt. They tell it how it is. I have been told several times "Mommy you need to get dressed." or  "Mommy your hair not pretty."  but I have also been told "Mommy you pretty now." and my favorite, "Mommy I love you!" which makes up for everything. Hopefully your kids keep the bluntness to you and not the random stranger at the store.

The best is when the kids combine potty training and bluntness together and yell out "My pee is coming out" in the middle of a group of people and runs to the bathroom. I guess they really had to go.  Embarrassing much? I'm not one to really get embarrassed but boy the kids will try.

Your new hobbies become cleaning up messes you didn't create and not sleeping. Hey that's what being a parent is all about right? I do love my children but I also miss sleep.

Sleep, what's that? Parent's don't need sleep to survive do they? You will be up early every day because when a child wakes up they need to eat, I don't blame them I'm hungry too. And you will be up late every day because there is always a mess to clean, a gift to wrap or you just need a few minutes kid free to relax. Don't even get me started on day light savings time - gaining an hour of sleep, more like loose two because the kids have no concept of time.

Nap time or bed time anyone? You will put your child to bed countless times. Even if you do everything from going potty to brushing their teeth and reading a book here they come and something is always wrong. "My finger hurts." "I'm not tired." "I need to go potty." "What's that noise outside?" "Aaaaaaahhhhhh it rain-in (raining)." And my personal favorite is when they sneak up on you and say  "Whatcha doing? Why I not watching?" ummm I don't know honey, maybe because I put you to bed thirty minutes ago... Needless to say, it is always something.

As soon as you finally get a moment of silence, whaaaaa, the baby is up or my new found favorite, "My blanket not working". Which leads to a lack of sleep and may eventually lead to drinking. The kids are whining so why can't I, right?

You will lose things. Lots of things. The keys. The remote. The pacifier. Miscellaneous toys. Socks. More socks. Your spot on the couch. Maybe even your mind. I don't know about your children, but mine have a secret stash somewhere in the house.

Laundry becomes your worst nightmare. Grass Stains. Food Stains. Blood Stains. Poop Stains. Sounds like a dirty Dr. Suess book.  So many ruined clothes. Shout does wonders until you leave it in the heated attic for to long and baby #2 needs it then you have Shout stains. Laundry becomes like that song that goes on and on and on especially during the potty training phase.

Folding laundry? Wait until nap time unless you want your children to play dress up in the clean clothes. "Look mom it's a necklace!" with my bra around her neck or "Superman" with your shirt wrapped around his neck as a cape. It's all fun and games until they unfold everything you just folded. Wrinkly clothes, my favorite!

Warming up leftovers for lunch or a nice hot dinner on your mind? You better think twice. The kids eat faster than you think, guess you'll have to wait. Now we all understand why mama bear's porridge was cold.

They eat, eat and eat again. I honestly don't know where they put it. My kids are always hungry and wanting snacks. As if you don't go through food like crazy now, just wait until they get older. The worst is when they find food on the floor or in the car and you have no idea where it came from. I hope that was a raisin...

Kids are messy. Their food will some how end up all over the table, the floor, the chair, the wall, their face, their hair and even you if you aren't careful. Spaghettio's and vegetables are the best for causing messes.

Every time you are on the phone your child will starts to throw a fit, get in a fight with their sibling or need your help in the bathroom. It never fails.

Your nice new car quickly becomes a minivan especially when you pop them out as quick as I did. Just skip the car and go straight for the minivan. Trust me, you can rock a minivan just as well as any other stay-at-home parent can.

Your main vocabulary becomes "No", "Because I said so", "Don't do that" and "Go to bed". Lacking in adult conversations can lead to loneliness and lots of chocolate. Your kids become your best friends because it is hard to make mommy friends much less get out of the house. And when you do get a chance to get out of the house all you are going to want to talk about is your kids...interesting...

Everything is on repeat. Their favorite song, "play it again". Their favorite movie, "watch it again and again". Their favorite book, "read it again, again".

The word "Why?" will be burned in the back of your head but hey, at least your child is curious and wants to know how things work or at least that's what I tell myself...

One of your children gets sick, all of your children get sick. Looks like I'm cleaning the house again - germs germs go away. You will do more investigating than the cops will to try to find out what is wrong with them. Hey maybe you can add private investigator to your resume as well!

Want to watch a show or listen to that new song? Here's to constantly hitting pause and rewinding it for the fourth time. For those who may not know what I'm talking about, kids can be pretty loud thus canceling out every other noise.

When you are already out so you run to the grocery store to avoid another trip but it collides with nap time resulting in a cart full of crying children or sleeping children and no room for groceries.

Going clothes shopping for you? Good luck the kid's clothes is so much cuter you won't be able to resist and if you happen to make it into a dressing room I hope you don't mind changing in front of people and no I'm not talking about your kids, the dressing room door will get opened at some point in time, most likely when you are pulling the shirt over your head because they think you can't see what they are doing.

Shopping sprees and grocery trips become horrible games of hide and seek. "No seriously where did my child go." "Get out of the clothes rack." "Put the cookies back." "Get off the floor." The worst is all the candy and toys they purposely put in the check out lanes that children can't help but touch. You will most likely forget something, hopefully it's something on your grocery list.

Everything becomes a tissue - their hand, their shirt, your shirt, the blanket, the couch, the wall. When you finally teach them how to use a tissue, you will find the whole box emptied on the floor and don't forget to say "Bless you". My daughter mean mugs me every time I forget and says "You forgot to Bless me", it's actually kind of cute!

Children, especially babies and toddlers have no concept of personal space. Of coarse you can sit on my face, that's what it's there for!

Speaking of space, when your husband and you finally start to get your groove on and the door slowly begins to open and you hear "Whatcha doing?" Or the thought of even doing the dirty is a no go because you don't want to chance having another mini me running around for a few more years.

At some point in time you will trip over your child. You may fall or hurt yourself trying to prevent it but as long as your child is okay then it is all good. For some odd reason kids toddlers like to hang out with their parents and are always at your feet. This also has to do with the fact that children have no concept of personal space. Save money on ankle weights and have kids!

Going outside to check the mail usually ends one of two ways: 1. Turn around and your toddlers are running barefoot down the driveway or 2. You accidentally get locked out of the house because your toddlers don't yet understand how doors work. I vote for sneaking out while they are napping. Win win unless they hear the door open...

Forget about going to the movie theater until your children get older unless you have a sitter. At some point during the movie you will have to take your toddler to the bathroom, exit because they randomly start crying or feed the baby and breastfeeding/bottle feeding at a movie theater isn't as easy as you'd think. If you do attempt it make sure you have plenty of snacks! For now I will stick to movies at home snuggled on the couch.

Museums for a 3 year old are how much? Everything sounds fun but you quickly learn you can't do it all. Whether it's the cost, the fact that you will have to lug around a diaper bag full of snacks, diapers, changes of clothes and a stroller all day or that your little one just can't keep up and gets fussy because you missed a nap, it's almost not worth the hassle. For now I'm sticking to free events.

Throwing food, throwing toys, throwing fits. By the end of the day you will be exhausted and ready for bed but you won't be able to sleep because you will be thinking of everything else you need to get done around the house.

A benefit is that you'll always have an excuse to get out of boring events by saying you can't find a babysitter. The down fall is if you ever want to do anything without the kiddos you have to find a babysitter, pay a babysitter and plan it out in advance which is no fun plus you usually end up paying more for a babysitter than whatever you actually did.

By now I'm sure you got the point that being a stay-at-home parent definitely is not luxurious. No I am not complaining about my children or being a stay-at-home parent and I hope you don't take it that way but I hope that you can relate to and laugh at all the crazy, non luxuries moments you face as a  parent, stay-at-home or working. I never dreamed I would be a stay-at-home parent but I am glad I have had the opportunity to be around my children even if it is 24-7, seven days a week and my hair is turning grey from all the stress because at the end of the day they say those four words that make it all okay, "I love you mommy!".

If you are a stay-at-home parent, try to remember the parents who would love to but can't stay home with their children and don't take it for granted that you can. If you are a working parent, try to remember that being a stay-at-home parent is a lot of work and not as luxurious as you may picture so please don't call us lazy for not getting paid for what we do. There are benefits to being both a stay-at-home parent and a working parent. Everything changes when you have kids. For better or worse you are now responsible for this little person that resembles you. Who looks up to you. Who watches every move you make and eventually repeats every word you say. Being a parent is the scariest yet most amazing experience you will go through. You will always be needed by somebody. You will always be looked up to by somebody. You will always be a parent, their parent. So be thankful and don't take it for granted.

Feel free to comment below with your funny or non luxurious moments of being a parent, stay-at-home parent or working parent. Please keep it appropriate!