When they told me I couldn't Breastfeed my Baby - Breastfeeding vs. Bottle Feeding

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Shortly after my third child was born we ended up in the hospital for a few nights. My son had blood in his stool and would randomly spit up blood. The doctors had no idea what was causing the blood but their top three causes were:

1. A milk protein allergy
2. A baby ulcer
3. Super bad thrush that caused blisters in my sons throat to burst open

Since my son was only a few days old the doctors mainly monitored him, gave him IV's and took blood tests and digital scans of his stomach. They didn't want to throughly check him or do any invasive procedures since he was so little so they narrowed it down to their top three causes based on research and looking at him.

While at the hospital I became very angry because we were getting nowhere, they kept sending in student doctors to deliver the news and no one could tell me why my son was bleeding.


Since thrush is curable and a baby ulcer is rare, they assumed my son had a milk protein allergy to my breastmilk. I was told that I could go on a dairy free diet or switch to a special formula, EleCare, that was expensive. 

After researching and discussing the dairy free diet with the doctors and nurses I decided that I most likely wouldn't be able to do it. I know women who have gone dairy free for their baby but the majority of food I eat contained dairy in some way - from the breading on chicken strips to casseroles, pizza, granola bars and ice cream. Even some cereals and chips I ate contained dairy. 

I decided to give it a try. I pumped and saved the milk I had produced for a few days as I made the transition. After three or four days of trying to be dairy free and breastfeeding again, my son was still showing signs of blood in his stool and my milk was drastically decreasing - Stress? Lack of food? Pumping?

The doctors kept recommending formula and due to my decreasing milk supply, I went back to my normal diet and switched my son to EleCare. I didn't want to believe that I couldn't breastfeed my son. I breastfed my first baby for nine months until my milk disappeared from being pregnant again. 

I breastfed my second baby for thirteen months until my milk disappeared from being pregnant with my third baby which made weaning easy. 

Breastfeeding is what I had planned on doing with my third baby until doctors suggested I shouldn't. I always knew formula and bottle feeding were an option but I chose to go the breastfeeding route.

Breastfeeding is something a mom should be able to do. Breastfeeding is natural and comes natural to moms. Breastfeeding is not always easy but definitely convenient. Breastfeeding is healthier for baby than formula. 

Formula is an added cost to our already low budget. Formula involves buying bottles, nipples, cleaning brushes, etc. Formula isn't as healthy for baby. Formula means always needing access to water. Formula isn't as convenient as breastfeeding.

I continued to pump and freeze my breastmilk because the doctors made it sound like their was hope. At the next check up the doctors said to continue the formula. I don't know why but at that point I felt like I had failed as a mom. My milk was decreasing more and more each day from pumping and I hadn't breastfed in a few weeks. My freezer was full of about five weeks of frozen milk that I couldn't use and even if my son was able to go back to breastfeeding, I don't know if he would latch on due to getting use to the bottle. 

Breastfeeding was all I knew with my other two babies so when I was told that I couldn't or should I say "shouldn't", I refused to believe it. Over those first five weeks of pumping and bottle feeding I was still hopeful that I would be able to breastfeed my baby. Hearing those three words "stick to formula" where the final punch. Although I didn't want to, I let my milk dry up and stuck to formula.

I know things don't always go as planned and I don't know why I wanted to breastfeed so bad. Maybe because I breastfed my first two? Maybe because I secretly wanted to loose the baby weight faster? Maybe because I knew the benefits of breastfeeding? Maybe because I sometimes used it to escape a crowed room to get a few minutes alone with baby?

Months later when my son was old enough, he was scheduled for an allergy test and needless to say he was NOT allergic to milk or anything they tested him for.


While on EleCare he still had several problems with his stool from black seeds to grayish looking to constipation to diarrhea and sometimes blood. We were told to monitor his stool but nothing ever came of it.

To this day I believe that he had a baby ulcer or the doctors cut his throat when they suctioned him at birth. I had a horrible birth experience. Without going into to much detail, my son had a high heart rate when I was in labor that the doctor blamed on my excitement, wasn't dropping due to a short umbilical cord we were unaware of and wasn't crying when he came out. The doctor on call was rude and definitely did not help the situation.

Within a week my son was admitted to the hospital for a few days, and was back again a week later. Just because a baby ulcer is "rare" doesn't mean he didn't have one. Just because he was a few days old didn't give the doctors the right to not fully test him. Needless to say the first few weeks of my son's life were eventful and the journey only continued with my runaway Mirena.

Here I sit, pregnant with my fourth baby, hoping that things are going to be different and that I am going to be able to breastfeed this little one. Although I know things don't always go as planned, I did my best to make the most of it.

The main differences I noticed between breastfeeding and bottle feeding:

They say fed is best which I agree with because no baby should starve, but breastmilk is so much better. It is healthier for baby. My two that were breastfed don't get sick as often as my son that was formula fed. If you are able to breastfeed, even if it's only a few weeks, do so!

Breastfeeding is more convenient but anyone can bottle feed the baby which gives mommy a break. My husband mainly bottle fed my son because he said I got to feed the first two so it was his turn. It allowed me to have time to get ready, a few more minutes of sleep and I didn't have to worry about wearing easy accessible tops. My husband stepped up his game and was a lifesaver!


Going on trips or date nights is easier because I didn't have to worry about stopping to pump or engorged, leaky boobs half way through the sate with no baby in sight.

I didn't share that special attachment with my son until he was almost one. There is a special connection you get when you breastfeed your little one and they fall asleep on you. Since my son was bottle fed he was use to eating and sleeping on whoever had him so when he happened to fall asleep on me, I cherished every moment. To this day he is a Daddy's Boy!


Formula is expensive and the older baby gets the more they drink. The formula we had to use cost about $34 a can. We luckily had WIC that supplied some of the cans but that didn't end up being enough down the road. Breastfeeding is definitely cheaper because it is essentially free and you can even get a free breast pump through insurance. The only cost are milk storage bags or breast pads if you choose to use them.


As you can tell there are positives and negatives to both breastfeeding and formula feeding. There are a lot more than I listed, these are just a few of the main differences I noticed and effect me as a mom that has done both. No matter what you choose, fed is best!

Hopefully no-one will tell you that you "shouldn't" breastfeed and that you can choose to go whatever route you want to but if by chance your little one has a milk protein allergy like mine supposedly did  and the dairy free diet doesn't work for you or any other reason that results in not being able to breastfeed, remember that you are not alone. There is another mom in the same situation going through the same thing somewhere in the crazy world.

Yes I felt like a failure because moms are suppose to be able to feed their little ones but in the end you have to do what is best for your little one no matter how much you don't want to. Plus your little one isn't going to know that they are getting formula if they never really had booby milk and vice versa. They just know that they are hungry and you fed them so feed your little one and cherish every minute of it!


I'd love to know if you breastfed, formula fed or both and why in the comments below! Help let other moms know they are not alone in their decision!

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Donating Frozen Breast Milk
If anyone was wondering what happened to all my frozen breastmilk, I donated it to a lady in need that wanted to breastfeed her little one but wasn't able to. This was actually my second time donating to someone because I produced so much milk with my first child and she refused to take a bottle so I donated most of the extra milk.

Yes you can donate your breastmilk and there are groups and websites to go through. There is a specific group for the state I live in that I post how much frozen milk and where I'm located. There are also milk banks that you can donate to. Do some research and find a local place that will take breast milk donations instead of tossing that liquid gold! Several adoptive/foster parents and moms that can't produce enough milk would love your donated milk for their little one!

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