Toy Time Out Box - a step toward positive parenting

Lately my kids have been driving me crazy. Crying, fighting, wresting, not taking their naps, not sharing their toys and even hiding toys under their pillows at nap and lying about it. I have tried every technique I can think of from "go in time out" to "go sit on your bed and come out when you are calm" to "lets get a book and read instead of wresting" to ignoring it which is a lot harder to do than you think. Not to mention the endless threats that us as parents never follow through with - "No tv tonight" or "No snack after dinner". I have a four year old, newly three year old and a seventeen month old if that helps you paint a better picture.

Nothing is getting through to them. The other day they took their toy key and toy screws and literally were stabbing the television with them watching that cool gel like pattern that appears. That was the breaking point. I tried time out but at that age they cry, wiggle, plop on the floor, don't face the corner or talk to each other so it doesn't really work.

My son will actually go put himself in "time out" aka sit in a corner when he gets upset or frustrated at himself without us telling him to go there so clearly time out doesn't work since he just likes sitting in corners. Anyways, I took the two toys they had been playing with all day and sat them up on a shelf.

After nap time my kids walked around looking for the toys and repeatedly asking me where the toys were. Out of sight, out of mind does not work when you have smart kids. I told them that I took them and they will get them back when they behave.

The next day my kids proceeded to misbehave and fight over toys so my husband took the toy they were fighting over. When asked why they couldn't have it, he responded, "It is in Toy Time Out." I was like, "That is a great idea. We can put a sign up and everything!". My husband looked at me not sure what I was talking about but agreed. I'm sure we aren't the first parents to think of putting a toy in time out since this whole parenting thing has been around for a while but if you haven't thought of doing it, I suggest giving it a try.

How does Toy Time Out work?

So far the Toy Time Out box is working great. Every time my children misbehave, fight over a toy and aren't listening, I give them a warning. If they proceed to misbehave then I take a toy and put it in the box and say "Your toy is in Time Out.". In order to get the toy out of time out they have to behave.

That includes listening, not fighting, cleaning up when asked, using their words and/or doing a chore depending on the age. Although this toy box was created with toddlers in mind, I'm sure it can work on older children as well. You can take their phone, game controller, remote or worse their charger/connecting cables so their devices won't work once they die.

Once your children behave you can let them choose a toy out of the box if their are more than one or just give them a toy. When they get their toy back you can remind them why the toy was in time out or ask them if they can tell you what they did wrong depending on the age. Remind them that what they did was wrong and since they were good they get their toy back.

Benefits of Toy Time Out?

The Toy Time Out box teaches children about positive and negative reinforcement. It also helps teach positive parenting since you should not have to discipline or raise your voice in the process of taking the toy away. Taking the toy away is discipline within itself. 

How do I make a Toy Time Out box?

All you need is a box and a sign that says "Toy Time Out" on it. Honestly you don't even need that. You can just place the toys out of reach on a shelf or in the corner. The box and sign just help make your children more aware that their toys can be taken away if they misbehave.

Below is a picture of my family's Toy Time Out box. I used a bin that wasn't being used and attached a sign that said "Toy Time Out" to it with a piece of ribbon. I used some scrap booking scissors and cut a small square out of a cereal box, hole punched it and tied it to the bin. The cardboard is more sturdy than paper so it shouldn't rip off. 

Tips for a Positive Toy Time Out box:

• You do not want to hide the toys or take them away during nap time or your children will forget about it. By seeing you take the toys away and seeing the toys out of reach then they become more aware of what is going on. You can remind them that if they behave they can get a toy back. 

• You also don't want to put a toy in time out that your child doesn't play with. If you pick a toy they don't play with then they won't care that it is in time out. By choosing a toy they enjoy paying with, they are more likely to learn from the mistake and work harder to get that toy out of timeout. 

• Make sure to reinforce Toy Time Out. If you aren't serious about it then why should your kids be serious about it? 

• Give Toy Time Out more than a week. Sometimes it takes time to get in the habit of things. Our Toy Time Out box is in plain site and I sometimes forget about it but as soon as I follow through with it and don't make an endless threat and actually take their favorite toy, my kids behave quickly. If it doesn't work after a couple weeks than that is fine, at least you gave it a try.

• Toys sometimes get left in Toy Time Out because life gets in the way. If that happens and your kids also forgot about it then just put the toys back or go ahead and let them take all the toys out to time out and put them back and say something along the lines of "I am so happy with how you have behaved lately so you can have all your toys back.".

So far Toy Time Out is working so much better than anything I have tried. My children do get upset when I take a toy and sometimes constantly ask "Where is my toy?" or "Am I being good mommy?". They key is to be consistent. Instead of raising your voice, simply take a toy and tell you kids why.

Not only does Toy Time Out help your children learn consequences but it is less stressful on you as a parent since you are hopefully no longer raising your voice. I hope Toy Time Out works for your family like it is for mine and if for some reason it doesn't work after a couple weeks than that is fine, at least you gave it a try; don't give up, you can do this because you got this positive parenting thing down!